Its been a fortnight since i shifted to Delhi allowing the city to resettle in my mind and my body after more than 3 years. Every visit in the past 3 years has been a temporary one where destinations were fixed, no re-traveling streets that I did before that. A select few roads, select friends, select activities; everything was selected. I try to pass the buck on to the lack of a vehicle but honestly, the lack of inclination was what limited my own movement. Now the story is different.
My bike is here and I thank the carrier company for getting it to me in one piece. And since my better half arrived, I have been riding. Riding streets and roads that I never looked at for the past few years, going through narrow lanes, riding through alleys, sensing what the capital feels, smells, sounds, looks and tastes like. And there is a shift in what it used to be earlier. I am not too certain about what the city tastes like because I haven't really been eating out. I wonder why! But soon, as I envisage. Its a pleasure to be back in the city that gave me millions of opportunities and mis-opportunities the last time I was here. From knowledge to wisdom to debauchery and decadence; its all here. The difference this time is me; I would like to believe that. 3 years living alone in Pune made me understand that I really dont understand much. And thats quite a relief, honestly. The reason why I left Delhi was to get away from anything familiar. It was difficult to get lost even if I wanted to. Everything was known, familiar or assumed. Sometimes presumed as well. It was getting boring. Or simply, I was so fed up of doing the same thing over and over again. Now I realize that activities that do not add to your essence are useless. Things were being taken for granted. Just because they were available. Pune taught me that not everything is available all the time. Not even people. I often joked that you are not allowed to die between 1 PM and 4 PM in pune because no one would come to you even if you needed help. Delhi gives you everything you need at any civilized hour.
Anyway, the agenda for me in Delhi, this time, is to live. Live in the real sense. For if you aren't living, you would rather be dead. I want to be the dead living working with and for the living dead. But you know what? Al;l this required me to settle down in my own place. AND I need a place which I cant seem to find.
